Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Wisdom of CJ

CJ is the pseudonym of someone who is an opiophile who leaves rather long and amusing posts on heroinhelper and other drug reform websites.  Not only is his writing style funny (despite his logorrhea, I have edited his comments down some) but there are some real insights behind what he is saying.  CJ is what the drug abuseologists call "treatment resistant," I think he is just a man doing what makes him happy in a society that pathologizes the pursuit of his particular form of happiness.  I don't think he would mind me reproducing some of his statements.

On being true to who you are:

OK YES its true i am a god forsaken junkie, you got me, the secret is out... and fine, yes, because of that my opinions my be diluted with dilaudid, morphed by morphine, etc. etc...and in finally doing so you must therefore regard my words not as the ramblings of a demon drug purveyor but of a modern day jesus christ or charlie sheen

ah, the glorious workmanship of our craft, somewhat patch work doctor, somewhat chemical engineer, somewhat shaman, herbalist and all around happiness

 yes i am a junkie and i am proud and its not kevin sabets god damn place to tell me that i cant shoot heroin that i cant sniff or smoke heroin that i cant chug a bottle of roxis if i freakin want to. its my body its my brain its my freakin desire. thats what i want to do and thats what i will always do prohibition or not ive been a junkie for a very very long time and i have seen it all and done it all trust me. i love my junkie life. i love my fellow junkies.

On Insite, the safe-injection site in Vancouver:

PLEASE DONT MISUNDERSTAND ME! If Junkies could laugh and cry, well this probably aids and definitely hep C positive junkie right here would have cried tears of joy at the victory of that vancouver supreme court, like the native in this junkie who, nevertheless is first junkie than native, wishes he could cry and laugh in reflection of the battle of bull run… wouldnt it be nice if the natives were junkies and custard was idk, Kirlikowske or Kevin Sabet? ah maybe there will be a third opium war yet and maybe that battle will be fought, if so i hope the prohibition induced diseases killing me dont take me before i may take the scalp of a prohibitionist.

but the danger is insite is really nothing great in the grand scope of things – is it baby steps? i dont know because i think sometimes things like this, these things that seem like small victories for us reformers may indeed be ways of stagnating our goals by the prohibitionists who are giving us nothing more than a crumb when they are well aware that we want and will inevitably get the entire proverbial cookie but perhaps we are such skinny, starved, stinky, homeless junkies (indeed,) we cannot see beyond that and take our crumbs when we get them and devour them and love them instead of spitting them at their face and saying “HAND OVER THE COOKIE JAR!!” as the prohibitionist says “WHO ME?!” and we declare “YES YOU!!!!!” and they maintain, “COULDN’T BE!!!” then picking up our crumbs we apologetically ask, “THEN WHO?!!!”

So i guess its just as well i mean the bottom line is i prescribe to the theory of the cookie jar. Its crumbs we accept with glee but shouldnt and should toss aside and demand more. We shouldnt be surprised at the fantastic results of an in-site but we know and should demand better. junkie to junkie. forever like a candle in the wind baby. (one that sits wonderfully underneath a beaten stainless steel spoon with a twingle of blackish brown on its underbelly as wonderous juicies snap crackle and pop for the heat, as soon cotton to liquid, liquid to needle, filling the belly, mixing two colors, pinching myself for good luck before fading away!!!!!!!! and in this case, it is better to fade away than burn out, Neil Young, Kurt Cobain and the Kurgan from Highlander 1 fame!)

On Suboxone, Methadone and Naltrexone:

so, these late to the party pieces of crap are on the naltroxone kick. Like we know subs were created by accident not that long ago. NARCAN and naltroxone has been around. What prevented this so called benefit from being discovered? This is gross man. DISPICABLE. HORRIBLE. a terrible set back to the powers that be getting to the inevitable solution that will work, that what was prescribed for the Soldiers Disease - heroin maintenance.

Naltroxone is a freaking scam. Oh I GET SO PISSED!! Whats more recently a research article came out, if you want me to find it for you just say, no problem. It was basically saying that researchers of naltroxone had discovered a "cure for opiate addiction" that would still allow people to be given opiate meds for pain and that would prevent them from becoming addicted. LOL. They said it had to do with naltroxone localizing in a certain place in the brain that re configures the receptors somehow. I swear Im not making this up. I got so pissed.

I hate them. I hate them so much. How dare they deem themselves so superior to us as to demand we not do what we enjoy. How dare they find the suppression of our desires as a profession, as a scientific subject to be studied, explored and experimented on as NOBLE!! HOW FN DARE THEY!
I get so irate. They try to destroy the plants.. As George Carlan has said, mother nature was here before us all and only created us so we could create plastic and soon enough will be rid of us. The AUDACITY with the GLOBAL CROP ERADICATION and WORSE the POISONINGS!!

And this CRAP about blocking, flooding, suppressing our receptors... BUT FOR WHAT REALLY? AS THOUGH we consume this natural thing from the earth that is rare, impossible nearly and more valuable and expensive than fossil fuels and so our consumption of it is some kind of global threat. BUT RATHER its NOT DIFFICULT to cultivate and at 70 cents a bag PRETTY FREAKIN CHEAP by modern US economic standards.

THE AUDACITY man. It gets me at my core. Naltroxone is an offense. What it is and what it does is TRULY no different than methadone, suboxone. Devious, glory hound, nobel prize wanting, materialistic, pretentious, PIECES OF WASTE champion this because they were ignorant to suboxone. What is the POINT of a third device that is no different and perhaps inferior to the first and second of its kind?

It especially pisses me off because as you all know I am a huge proponent of heroin assisted treatment and was hoping that after suboxone was exposed as nothing more than methadone as NEEDED (aka, rare days of no smack due to weather, finance, dried up sources whatever and therefore go in the ole medicine cabinet, grab the 30 or 60 pill filled 3 month old suboxone script and pop one til tomorrow. in other words, like methadone, merely a withdrawal suppressant, however, unlike methadone, for the most part, at a junkies convenience, NOT a clinics [that will drug test you.] The trade off comes in the fact that methadone floods but offers a nearly non existant SOMETHING whereby unless your opiate naive, suboxone offers totally NOTHING) So instead of being able to more quickly realize the futility of suboxone and thus take a step towards Heroin Maintenance, we have this stupid naltroxone to wait for now as well.

the truth is junkies dont want suboxone or methadone and GOD NO we dont want nalaxone (UNLESS were talking O.D.) however if you say to a junkie we’ll give you something, it wont do what you want BUT it will make sure you dont go through the Sickness. HOWEVER the price you pay isnt just financial if you take this drug the other price you pay is your heroins and painkillers will be blocked, the sub will block it and the methadone will flood your receiptors so it wont be able to fit in – it being your D.O.C. Well the junkie will always pick the bottle of suboxones so the junkie can suck one of them down on a day they are ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN they will NOT get the money and their CONNECTS CANNOT SPOT or COME THRU. Thats it. They will always pick subs because subs can and will and do sit in the closet until that horrible kind of day happens again. Methadone you have to pick up everyday, methadone you usually get in a clinic, your usually drug tested, your usually not able to have AS SUCCESSFUL a Junkie existence on the ‘done versus the bupe.

On Codeine:

Yeah, I know - people get f'n fed up. Tired. EXHAUSTED of the hustle, wait, sickness prohibition inflicted syndrome (and wont get into how this is so disgustingly taken advantage of by the dogma of AA and transformed into the concept of 'rock bottom' those sick materialistic cult bastards!!) so you eventually get so tired and beaten that you begin to buy into that rock bottom BS OR just go for whatever is easiest - I.E some kind of codeine concoction gotten OTC or whatever.

I think its just another bastard condition of prohibition that this codeine deal goes on. I feel bad. I feel real bad. bad enough to do what I do everyday to not feel bad anymore. Perhaps even dedicating one of the post action cleaning out squirts back into the aquafina in dedication of the lad/laddie (one for the money, two for the show, third times a charm, one extra for good luck, two extra for drug war victims, a selfish spray for to not OD, not get caught and not get buzz killed and finally any acknowledgemental (i know its not a word) squirts before the train leaves, if you will, heh heh)

CJ apologizes:

im sorry but the whole naltroxone business gets me very mad... I apologize.. I APOLOGIZE APOLOGIZE APOLOGIZE for ranting and raving and being an uncouth person. It is the way of the prohibitionist, not the junkie. :( I am somewhat ashamed for getting so uptight just now and ranting, but I feel a bit better actually and am glad to share this with the people I admire. Thanks for your patience!!

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